I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i think i just lost a toe
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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