U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize