saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
