I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
