I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
