Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
