Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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