I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
