Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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