OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Help me help you realize you are a moron
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
