my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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