i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
