chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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