Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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