Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
