...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
