I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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