Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
