Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
