At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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