i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I deserve this hangover.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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