He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
