I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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