If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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