It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
