I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have so many feelings about this burrito
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize