Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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