If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
