If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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