SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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