what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize