Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
