I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
