Do you still have your period?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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