Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.