Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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  (631): i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick http://tfl.nu/rq3v
  Replies (20) Good night (1446) Bad night (1857)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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  (757): apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously http://tfl.nu/dgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (884) Bad night (5005)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

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  (814): he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out. http://tfl.nu/d51a
  Replies (13) Good night (651) Bad night (4461)
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  (415): View more from California

  It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.

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  (415): It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner. http://tfl.nu/rtus
  Replies (23) Good night (3378) Bad night (1809)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stole a bike. Here's a pic

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  (513): I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight. (513): I stole a bike. Here's a pic http://tfl.nu/v50c
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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  (315): hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time. http://tfl.nu/7nlf
  Replies (10) Good night (3096) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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  (214): look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT. http://tfl.nu/esfv
  Replies (4) Good night (2714) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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  (763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently you can coat check a keg.

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  (240): Apparently you can coat check a keg. http://tfl.nu/sdmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1989) Bad night (922)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.

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  (901): He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy. http://tfl.nu/2710
  Replies (6) Good night (1745) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.

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  (785): And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week. http://tfl.nu/s5eh
  Replies (10) Good night (693) Bad night (1914)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato

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  (212): Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato http://tfl.nu/ss5k
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew

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  (434): I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew http://tfl.nu/2v1b
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (226)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.

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  (801): I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future. http://tfl.nu/z13j
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (204)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.

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  (860): I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store. http://tfl.nu/502t
  Replies (10) Good night (373) Bad night (696)

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