It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.