areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
