this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
