We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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