He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
