what if every blade of grass was a penis?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
