Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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