if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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