now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
