Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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