you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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