READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
