Can i not drive my cunt home
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize