i may or may not be watching the land before time
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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