I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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