Sponge bath it is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
