Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
