just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
