Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
