it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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