you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize