I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
