Barsexuality is the new black.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
