careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
