The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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