The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
